Fuck, what do I even write here? I'm off in my own head, most days, but also tonight, although the empty draft beckons to me. Also the empty canvas, but I actually feel differently about that tonight, sort of shy? It's because I am not entirely sure what's going on in my head. You'd think that's a sure thing, wouldn't you, "Oh, I'm thinking this thought, that is what is going on in my head," but you'd also be surprised at how easily that falls apart - not under inspection, exactly, since there are really so many of us with our eyes open. it's really just a testament to how the thing works, and why, which is something I'm still looking for and beginning to truly hate that question.

Probably not in the way it could be, though, for which I'm grateful but mostly curious. which kind of redefines the point. I guess. Anyway, by the time you read this it'll be too late to do anything about it. I'm almost certain of that. am i wrong